


I Guess We’ll Never Know

by Leaflets (gangstars_paradise)



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Books, Character Study??, Holidays, I Don't Even Know, Johnny’s sunflower tattoo, Libraries, M/M, Nicknames, Road Trips, Semi-hiatus because school came back with a vengeance, Slow...everything basically, driving with one hand, soft but not fluffy, spend a day with me, strangers to bros to lovers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:00:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27775753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gangstars_paradise/pseuds/Leaflets
Summary: Jaehyun knows a lot of things; it’s a trait he’s developed from countless hours scouring the local library’s shelves. One thing he can’t seem to figure out, however, is why his eyes keep falling upon the dark haired boy sitting at a table in one of the library's many alcoves.
Relationships: Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Suh Youngho | Johnny
Kudos: 17





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi folks! This is not my first time writing something, but it /is/ my first time publishing something onto a platform…im nervous...this was actually supposed to be a one-shot but it’s not complete so I just wanted to put at least one part out. I don’t know how many parts this will have but I’ve already started the other parts. Maybe I’ll do a Christmas countdown and post a chapter a day...maybe not, that’s a lot of writing that im too lazy to do but hey, I won’t forget about this.

  
Jaehyun knows a lot of things. It’s a fact. Countless hours perusing his local libraries’ shelves has made sure of it. Wanna learn about the body? Ask Jaehyun. Insects? World history? The stock market? Origami? Astrology? Marine biology? Jaehyun’s your man. One thing—just about the _only_ thing—he can’t seem to figure out is why his eyes keep falling upon a boy with black hair sitting at a table in one of the library’s many alcoves.

Jaehyun doesn’t understand it, what is so special about this boy to make him lose focus from his usual task? Maybe it’s that he’s never seen him before, Jaehyun reasons with himself. As someone who used to come to this library almost every day, he’s become notorious with the employees and the other regulars, so of course, Jaehyun knows most of the people who go here as well. Maybe the boy _has_ been to this library, but he’s never noticed. _No_ , Jaehyun reasons with himself, _If that boy had been here before, I definitely would have noticed._ It’s true, it would be difficult _not_ to notice that dark haired boy.

Tall—probably even taller than Jaehyun and built too, his body looking firm to the touch. The boy’s eyes are almond-shaped and monolided with deep brown—almost black—irises, a straight nose leading to the boy’s most alluring feature; plush lips adorned with a strong cupid’s bow. For a second, Jaehyun wonders if his lips are as soft to touch as they appear, wanting to run his fingertips over their pink exterior, but then Jaehyun realizes he’s been staring at the boy sitting in the alcove for too long to play off, so he abruptly turns back to the shelf he was examining. _True crime today, I guess_ . Jaehyun picks a book off the shelf— _In Cold Blood_ by Truman Capote, he notes, and moves to sit at his usual spot by the library’s largest window.

It’s actually quite interesting—the book, that is. Murder in a little farming community in Kansas, who would’ve thought. Jaehyun really didn’t look up from the book until page 94, to rest his eyes for a bit. When he looks around the library, he notices it’s cleared a bit. A few people looking through the shelves on the first floor and the clack of keyboards on the second. That dark haired boy is still sitting in the alcove, book on the table and phone in his hand. Probably texting someone, Jaehyun notes, from how quick his thumb is moving across the screen. His eyes fall down to the book on the table, _That Thing Around Your Neck_ by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. Jaehyun remembers that book, the collection of short stories leaving a large impression on his 17 year-old mind at the time. Even almost two years later, he remembers the book in a positive light. 

Once again, Jaehyun realizes he’s staring and turns to look out the large window he’s sitting by. It’s easy to get lost staring at the outside world. Observing the random passerby on a moderately busy street is another one of his favorite things to do. Yep. If there’s two things Jaehyun’s known for, it’s reading and people-watching. He stares for a little while longer, lost in thought, until he notices the reflection of another person behind him through the window. It’s the dark haired boy from the alcove, now standing by Jaehyun’s table.

“Hey,”

His voice is warm, wrapping around the single word he’s spoken, spinning it into a poem. It has a nice weight and ring to it, a sound Jaehyun could fall drowsy to.

“you wouldn’t happen to know where to find a bathroom here, would you?” The boy continued.

 _Ah of course,_ the bathroom. Jaehyun doesn’t blame the boy for not knowing where to find it, this library is quite confusing with its winding shelves and nooks, but why did the boy ask him of all people? Jaehyun looks around the now rather empty library and sees a few people seemingly occupied with copious amounts of textbooks and papers surrounding them.

The boy must have caught on to what Jaehyun was wondering, he shrugged his shoulders a bit and offered a sheepish smile, “Sorry, this place is kinda big and you didn’t seem to be all that busy at the moment. If you are busy, I can always ask someone else.”

“No,” Jaehyun replied, rather rushed. He could feel the tips of his ears heating up a bit. “I’ll show you where the bathroom is.” Jaehyun stood up from his seat, noting the height difference between himself and the boy. _He really is tall,_ he thought to himself.

“Great,” the dark haired boy smiled, waiting for the shorter of the two to move forward. “lead the way then.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well? How was it? If I really want to keep my promise, I should go back to writing orz
> 
> I posted this at 8:30 pm where I live so I don’t have much time but I’ll actually try to write a part in a day
> 
> Toodles~


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey folks,
> 
> Welp. This is a little late because I had something else I was working on but its here! Hope you like the second chapter and it's a bit longer than the first one so without further ado...

  
“Hey, thanks for helping me. I know I never would’ve found it on my own.”

Jaehyun smiled, “You’re good, man. It was no problem.” 

It really was no problem, the short walk being one Jaehyun made many times before. It’s one of the things with being a regular at this library: browse, read, restroom, repeat. A few modifications could be made here and there in the system to allow for actual studying or checking out books instead of reading them all in the library, but Jaehyun’s college has gone on break for the holiday, so who _really_ expects him to do anything productive? He’s really only back in Connecticut to visit his parents, but the sight of this library unlocked some old memories for him. Any remnants of nostalgia trapped away in Jaehyun’s soul were satisfied as soon as he stepped foot into the library again, feeling as though he never really left.

“But seriously though,” the boy continued, “I was sitting there for almost an hour trying to see if I could find the bathroom from my seat.” A common practice in an unfamiliar place. So the boy really _has_ never been here before, and this revelation genuinely perplexes Jaehyun. How did he even find this library? It’s rather old and out of the way despite being quite large, and it really isn’t all that popular compared to other libraries around town.

“Oh yeah, I had the same problem when I first started coming here too. It’s really just a matter of memorization.” Jaehyun smiles at the influx of memories he receives at his confession, _losing himself in the maze of bookshelves that make up the first floor and the first and last time he went to the second floor._ He continues to look into the distance until he’s knocked out of his nostalgia by a question from the boy.

“So you go here a lot? That’s actually really cool, I’d love to have a library this cozy and quiet back home.” Okay, _scratch_ Jaehyun’s earlier thought, does the boy even _live_ around this area? The way he’s speaking of this library with a wistful gaze only feeds Jaehyun’s curiosity, the urge to give and take answers overwhelming him.

“No, I’ve only recently started coming back here since I’m in town and couldn’t resist. How about you though? Don’t have a good library back home?” His question might be too direct, come off as a bit rude or even creepy but Jaehyun can’t find it in him to be bothered right now. He doesn’t know where it’s coming from, his need to know more about this handsome stranger has taken over most parts of his brain and the entirety of his mouth. He wants to know—he _has to know—_ but he couldn’t tell you why and he might never be able to tell you why. Another thing he’ll never know.

Jaehyun’s attention is caught again when he hears the boy answering his questions, “It’s not that, it’s just—there’re a lot of people in Chicago which is a _good thing,_ but it’s so _loud_ there. I didn’t notice how quiet it could be, how used to all the noise I was until we came here.” The dissonance between the constant murmur of the city and the calm, almost serine, quiet of Greenwich is something Jaehyun noticed too when he first came back last week. Greenwich isn’t a small city by all means, but it really isn’t anything compared to New York City—and Chicago too, apparently.

_So Chicago...that’s a long distance from here,_ Jaehyun notes to himself while nodding at the boy. They began walking back towards the main area of the library, making small talk and answering questions. Jaehyun learns that the boy goes to the University of Chicago as a film major and is here in Connecticut to visit family over the long break. Jaehyun himself shares his enrollment in NYU Law and his plans to spend the holiday in his childhood home. By the time they make it back to the main area, they’re fairly acquainted, laughing over college stories and their experiences in their respective communities. Jaehyun checks the time on his phone to be 4:53 but out the large window, it’s nearing sunset. He never meant to stay for this long, now back at his table with the boy, the copy of _In Cold Blood_ forgotten. He does a quick glance over the library to see that most of the patrons have either with only a few odd students still nose-deep in their study materials. Jaehyun looks over to the boy’s previous table to see the copy of _That Thing Around Your Neck_ in a similar state to the book at this table.

Jaehyun focuses his attention back to the boy sitting in front of him, idly scrolling through his supposed social media feed. He’s even more beautiful up close, the sunlight reflecting in his iris turning them into deep pools of honey and his pink lips look even softer now. There’s a slight upturn to the corners of his mouth, giving the boy a slightly feline-like appearance and his slightly short, dark hair is so silky that Jaehyun’s hands twitch with the urge to run his fingers through their tresses. He’s so lost in the boy’s features, he doesn’t quite notice how the boy’s attention has been drawn away from his phone by the intensity of Jaehyun’s stare. A warm chuckle escapes his lips, snapping Jaehyun out of his revere. Embarrassed, Jaehyun clears his throat and averts his gaze out the window again, noting how much the sun has set. He really should get going, he really wasn’t supposed to stay this long, he _really_ can’t understand how a single chuckle has him so flustered. Nothing like this has ever happened to Jaehyun before and he doesn't know how to handle it, but before he can get any more flustered, the boy’s voice breaks the static silence that settled in the air.

“So my cousin just texted me and I have to go get him from—wherever he is, but I gotta go. It was nice meeting you.” The boy mentions his cousin with an exasperated but fond expression, smiling towards the end of his sentence. Jaehyun can't help but feel a twinge of…something he’s quite not sure of yet when the boy gets up out of his seat. He doesn’t want this warmth to end so quickly, the comforting vibe he gets from the boy is one he hasn’t gotten from many people in his life. Before the boy can completely leave the table, Jaehyun speaks up.

“Hey wait,” he starts a bit rushed, “I really liked talking with you today and I think we could be really good friends. Would it be okay for us to exchange numbers?” _Oh god that was embarrassing_ Jaehyun’s mind supplies him. He can already feel his ears heating up but he keeps his face set in a determined expression, convincing himself that it’s okay if the boy rejects his proposition. They _did_ just meet not long ago and it's not like they’d have reasons to cross paths again once the break was over. But those facts make Jaehyun all the more determined to keep contact with the boy, he _wants_ reasons for them to cross paths again and he _really_ _wants_ to learn more about this boy and maybe figure out what this feeling in his chest is as he stares into the boy’s eyes.

The boy himself seems rather taken aback by Jaehyun’s boldness, but quickly hides it behind a friendly smile. “Of course we can, who wouldn’t want the number of the guy who saved his life?” He produces his phone from his back pocket and exchanges it with Jaehyun’s own, quickly typing in his number but pausing before handing the phone back. 

“How do you want to save the names for the contacts?” He asks. Jaehyun hadn’t really thought it would be that important, already typing his name into the space but it seemed the boy had other plans.

“I didn’t really think it would matter.” Jaehyun responded, “How do you want to do it?” Was this some new thing people did when they met new people or was this something unique to the boy? Yet another thing he’ll never know. Either way, the boy has an excited glint in his eye and that’s all Jaehyun seems to care about in the moment; social norms or not, he’s doing this.

“We should save each other as nicknames!” the boy says with such an open expression that Jaehyun finds himself deleting his name from the contact. He instead replaces it with a simple _Jae_ and a peach emoji then hands the boy’s phone back. When he gets his phone back, he checks the boy’s contact and sees it saved as _One and Only_ with a winking emoji behind it. Jaehyun can’t help rolling his eyes with a smile at the boy’s antics.

“Really? You want me to know you as _One and Only? Really?”_ Jaehyun questions the boy—the One and Only _now_ , he supposes with a small chuckle. At least the name he had saved on the boy’s phone was similar to his name, but _One and Only_ gives Jaehyun no clues to what the boy’s actual name might be.

“Um yes, thank you very much,” the boy begins with faux hurt, his cheeks slightly rosy, “It’s a nickname I picked up back in Chicago, and I’m not so sure I’m comfortable with telling a stranger my name.” What the boy’s saying makes sense, but the cheeky grin on his face tells Jaehyun that he’s joking.

“But I gave you an actual nickname though.” Jaehyun retorted with his own look of faux offense.

“Maybe you’re too trusting” the boy shot back.

At this point, Jaehyun couldn’t keep a matching grin from spreading across his features, cheeks dimpling from the strain. “Maybe I am.”

The boy seemed to notice the dimples as well, his eyes flitting from Jaehyun’s cheeks to the rest of his face and finally back to his eyes. The attention made him feel that same sensation from before, but this time, Jaehyun can decipher it a bit better. Of the many words floating around in his brain, warmth is how he would describe this feeling. The realization spreads throughout Jaehyun’s chest like a hearth, heating his body all over. He really is glad he asked for this boy’s number.

“Alright well it really was nice meeting you and thank you again for helping me. I’ll see you later,” the boy takes a quick glance down to his phone again and offers Jaehyun a lopsided grin, “ _Jae.”_ After that, the boy really does take his leave, muttering something about how _Mark texts as much as he talks_ and exiting the library.

  
  


✎✐✎✐✎

  
  


_Later that night, when Jaehyun’s back at his parents’ house, he’ll realize that he never finished reading In Cold Blood. Oh well._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So much for a chapter a day lol but hey, this wasn’t that late and it’s 2 am (actually I finished this at two but I’m posting it at 4 hehe) where I’m from and I started writing at 11:30 pm (2 days ago really) so im proud lol.
> 
> Hopefully the next chapter is out in a timely manner though 
> 
> Toodles~


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha late again whoops but oh well :D I actually finished this chapter a while ago but then I decided to take a little break for the holidays or rather I was actually very busy these past few days
> 
> I have mad respect for those who write chat fics frrrrrr this was soooooo difficult to format like what the heck ao3? WHY😫😫😵
> 
> But I digress,

  
Two days. It’s been nearly _two days_ since they met at the library and Jaehyun _still_ can’t seem to get the mysterious boy of his mind. He’s spent these past days in various states of giddiness and worry, his brain replaying the last words the boy had said to him before leaving the library:

  
  


_“Thank you again for helping me. I’ll see you later.”_

  
  


Had the boy meant what he said about them meeting again? Jaehyun had an inkling of worry that the boy said that to everyone he met, having already forgotten about him and the library. But then his mind supplies him with the _actual_ last thing the boy had said to Jaehyun:

  
  


_“Jae.”_

  
  


Yes, it was just the nickname Jaehyun had let him know but it was the way he said it that warms Jaehyun’s entire body from inside out. The name already sounded so familiar on the boy’s tongue, ringing out the same way old friends would address each other. That’s why the empty chat he’s currently starting at is so much worse, the _One and Only_ at the top of the screen stares right back at him, mockingly. But the words at the top of the screen remind Jaehyun of another fact:

  
  


_He never learned the boy’s name._

  
  


That’s partially—entirely—Jaehyun’s own fault since he never thought to ask for some reason but at the same time, the boy never asked Jaehyun’s name either. _Like he never planned on talking to me again_ , Jaehyun’s mind unhelpfully deduces and of course, this makes him even _more_ upset than before. This unending cycle of hope and worry really could be ended if Jaehyun just texts the boy first, but that option was thrown out the window long ago, despite his show of confidence two days ago at the library, Jaehyun is actually rather introverted even to those who know him well. Where his courage prior to this day is another item on the growing list of things Jaehyun will never know. This is the first time in his life where his mind has been so full of words yet he remains speechless, where Jaehyun’s felt so comfortable and simultaneously out of his element with another person and honestly, he can’t find it in him to be bothered. He _should be_ bothered but there’s something about this boy that makes Jaehyun feel like he should be feeling these things. He wants to spend enough time with the boy until he can voice the words in his head, until when he can settle into the warmth without second-guessing himself. 

  
  


_That’s not too much to ask for right?_

  
  


Before he can settle back into his solitary pity party, Jaehyun’s phone pings with a message. _Probably Jaemin or something,_ he reasons, but he is completely shocked to find that it was _not_ Jaemin that texted him, as the lock screen of his phone reads out: _One and Only😉_. 

  
  


[One and Only😉,11:58 AM]

_  
Hey_

_How’ve you been_

  
  


_The gods_ do _listen_ , Jaehyun muses to himself as he thinks of how to respond. He choses a simple but friendly answer:

  
  


[Jae🍑,11:58 AM]  
  


_I’m fine ig_

_Not much to do at home lol_

[One and Only😉,11:59 AM]  
  


_Well what about around town?_

_Got any cool things to do here?_

  
  


_Cool_ isn’t exactly Greenwich’s specialty, actually now that Jaehyun thinks about it, cool isn't really much of _Connecticut’s_ specialty. Most people don’t come here to have a fun and exciting vacation because—well—a state famous for the constitution and nutmeg isn’t exactly on a tourist’s bucket list. There’s still plenty of things to do here, Connecticut is a history-rich state with many firsts of this country but it’s the kind of things you appreciate rather than experience compared to other tourist attractions around this country and the world.

  
  


[Jae🍑,12:01 PM]

_  
Hmmmmm_

_Well I wouldn’t call these cool things_

_But there are a lot of parks in Greenwich_

_We also have this avenue with some shops_

[One and Only😉,12:01 PM]

_  
An avenue???_

_So like a tiny mall or something_

[Jae🍑,12:02 PM]

_  
You could say that_

_But it sounds pitiful that way_

_So don’t say that lol_

[One and Only😉,12:02 PM]  
  


It’s _true tho_

_But ur tiny tiny mall sounds cool_

_I was thinking of doing a bit of exploring_

_What do you say to being my tour guide ;)_

  
  
  


_Damn_

That was smooth, even by a stranger’s standards—or almost-stranger’s standards. That last message sent Jaehyun’s mind in a frenzy, his heart beating out of control. He can feel every cell in his body being reimbursed with blood, warming him from head to toe.

Or in simple words, he’s embarrassed. _Very embarrassed._

That boy—how does he do it? Barely three minutes of texting and Jaehyun’s already thrown for a loop. Once again, his metaphorical tongue is too big for its mouth and it should be annoying, being caught off guard like this by an almost-complete stranger but it’s rather charming. _Fun_ actually.

Jaehyun must be going crazy for thinking unpreparedness in conversation is fun, but he can’t worry about that right now. It’s been nearly a minute since he’s responded and he doesn’t want the boy to think he’s rejected him or something like that.

_Has_ he rejected him though? _No_ , He didn’t. He _should_ , but Jaehyun’s starting to wonder if he could reject _anything_ this boy asks of him. _First the bathroom and now a tour, I need to get a hold of myself_ , Jaehyun admonishes. He types out a reply anyways, of course:

  
  


[Jae🍑,12:04 PM]  
  


_Hmmmmmm_

_Lemme think about it rq_

_…will I be paid?_

  
  
  


Simple, easy and playful wrapped into one awesome response. Well done, Jaehyun.

  
  
  


[One and Only😉,12:04 PM]  
  


_Do you want money?_

_I was just thinking I could buy you something_

_Like food_

_Or clothes if you’d rather have that_

[Jae🍑,12:05 PM]

_  
So what ur saying is_

_I’ll show you around town_

_And you’ll buy me food_

[One and Only😉,12:06 PM]  
  


_Well ideally I’ll be driving_

_But yes_

  
  


[Jae🍑, 12:06 PM]

_  
Ooh how chivalrous_

_You’ve got urself a deal sir ;D_

[One and Only 😉, 12:06 PM]  
  


_Wonderful ;)_

_When are you free_

  
  


_When am I free hmmmm_ , Jaehyun does a quick glance at the time on his phone. _Noon._ He’s pretty _free_ today, _right now_ actually considering this is his last day of downtime before his parents make him meet with his various cousins and family friends. Is it too soon though? They have the whole day and everything but don’t people usually schedule things like these a day ahead or something? Well, the boy asked him so he’ll tell him the truth.

  
  


[Jae🍑, 12:07 PM]

_  
Well_

_As it turns out I’m free today_

_Right now actually since I’ll be busy the whole week_

_Hbu? Busy today?_

[One and Only😉, 12:07 PM]  
  


_Oh same actually_

_I have to meet people the rest of the week_

_So idk why I asked like that lol_

_I’m free today too :)_

  
  


_Oh, how lucky._

  
  


[Jae🍑, 12:08 PM]  
  


_What are the odds :)_

_So what time?_

  
  


[One and Only😉, 12:08 PM]  
  


_Hmmm_

_How does 3 work for you_

_I can pick you up if you want ;)_

  
  


3 hours to get ready…sounds like a solid amount of cushion.

  
  


[Jae🍑, 12:08 PM]  
  


_Sounds fancy_

_I’ll send you my addy_

_See you then :)_

[One and Only😉, 12:09 PM]  
  


_What can I say_

_I‘m a fancy man lol_

_See you then Jae :)_

  
  


See you then _Jae_. Well, there’s his cue to start getting ready. _Three hours,_ he thinks to himself before throwing his phone down to his bed and heading to his bathroom.

  
  


✎✐✎✐✎

  
  


_Later, if someone asked Jaehyun if he dressed a little better than his usual going-out attire, he would deny it and say he’s always dressed like this._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew
> 
> This was so hard to write fr. Good thing I already have the next chapter planned…just that none of it is written:’) hAHahAha
> 
> I don’t ever want to write in chat format ever again. Ever.
> 
> In other news, I accidentally clicked on the ro*ch emoji and now it won’t go away😫😫🤢 omggg I’ve been drowning it out with other emojis and its stuck😭😭
> 
> Update: the emoji is still there but it’s almost gone but almost isn’t enough orz
> 
> Welp. Lets hope the next chapter can be out in a timely manner. That’s all from me folks,
> 
> Toodles~


End file.
